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today was the first and the last time my mum would ever enter my school..
imagine the impression..
was like shit.
i fuckin screwed my promos..
let me emphasis..
SCREWED IT ALL UP....
and not that i didn't study for it..
i swear i did and i really did.
i'm a friggin loser who cant get over with it...
c'mon..
it means that my effort simply didn't pay off

now what?
three opinions,
1.retain
2.M.I
3. poly

i really don't know what i should do..
i already retained once
and this would be the second time if i retain again..
damn.
i seriously feel like killing myself..
like...
WTH....
SECOND TIME...
when seow was beside me...
all that was ringing in my ears was, "never to leave anyone behind"
i'm f-ing behind now.
and not only behind..
i'm in,out, up, down,front,back..
whatever shits larhs..
yes..
i know..
loser..
i admit i am..

SORRY I'M NOT OKAY...
i'm FUCKING NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT OKAY!!!!!


i need time...
just like how i needed time to get over with people.
and this is like some second blow within 30 days.


i fucking feel like fucking myself upside down..
whatever JC Shit...
i'm outta it and now i land up in some friggin MESS...

i'm upset cus it's MY SECOND TIME..
and i can't get over with it cus i'm SUPER SUPER PEK CHEK..
I FUCKING STUDIED!
and not like as if my parents are getting any younger.
all the PROMISES are just empty now..
i just EMPTIED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF IT!!!!!
AND I'M UPSET CUS I CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.....................

WHATEVER COLLEGE..

and now i'm ANGRY cus maybe i should have studied HARDER OR SUMTH?!
and i'm angry cus i disappointed myself, MY PARENTS, my brother, EVERYONE (yes not like as if everyone is upset but freak, i AM ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!)....

damn larh.
stupid.
whatever shit you can call me.


anyhows,
now i'm really retarded by swimming in my SORROWS...
LET ME LET OUT CAN!?!?!?!?!?!
PFT PFT PFT......................................

damn damn..
SINGAPORE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM...
I FEEL LIKE POKING IT AND TEARING IT INTO PIECES AND CHEW IT DOWN MY OESOPHAGUS ( i don't know whether i spell this right and even if i don't, you shld have known it cus I'm such a loser)
thankew very much.

Let me have my say first before you guys wanna say anything.


okay.
done....
i shall move on..


SOON..

i hope...
let me figure out which direction first......