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it feels so good talking to so many of them online..
like thams, seow, zach justin and not forgetting, dad...

i miss dad so much.
i really wonder how he did it in thailand all alone.

thams just put what i really felt into words.
yes, i'm a loner..
it's alright eating with crews, going shopping and sightseeing.
then when you reach the room, that's the worst part...
it's back to the square one, empty and all alone with a queen/king size bed in a 5 star hotel.
i really detest the emptiness...
i never knew how much it would make me upset...

anyhows,
all i need was support, the voice, someone to talk to me, to comfort me...
yeah. guess i didn't have much and moreover, no replies, no sms, no calls...
ohwells, like mum said, you cant really rely on anyone...
cus they just disappoint you more..

sometimes, i wonder whether i'm happy? juggling this loneliness, my "career" and most importantly my relationship...
maybe the brainwashing thing works...

i'm so desperately needing this attention, but i'm sucked dry and left with none now..
do you think one day is enough for two weeks?
think about it agn.

i really don't wanna be in tears, but i cant help it really...